Thursday, September 8, 2016
The Cord Precis
"The Cord," by Leanne O'Sullivan, is a reflective poem about how the author, or an imaginative character, would enjoy the days where they could sit around and just talk on the phone all day. Leanne teaches us how she remembers her younger days, by using many metaphors and imagery to create an image for her audience. One example of a metaphor that Leanne uses is "each sentence is a new territory." She continues, "the glass shattering with delirium, with knowledge and fear." She uses these metaphors to express her comfort and enjoyment of talking on the phone, each conversation a new idea. Leanne also uses imagery in her poem to reflect on her routine, "a plate of cold rice to my left, my school books to my right." She gives another example saying, "stay where I can reach you, dim room, dark earth." This seems to show the comfort she and her mother felt, her mother allowing her to use the phone. By using metaphors and imagery, Leanne reflects her young days perfectly by being able to describe in clear detail, her routines.
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Francis,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your blog. You seem to be a bright and ambitious young mind and I can't wait to see what you accomplish in the literature world.
However, I think there are a few things of which you should be aware as you continue with your poetic precis journey.
For one, make sure your first sentence includes the message of the poem as well as the techniques used to convey said message. Frankly, I believe O'Sullivan was reaching for something deeper than just reflecting on her old days with happiness. There were feelings involved, a core message to be taken from the whole teenage experience of shutting herself in her room, away from her parents and into the comfort of her friends.
Secondly, you must follow up your original claim with not only examples, but explanations and analysis as to how these example support your previous claim. Try not to stop at telling me that Leanne had "a plate of cold rice to my left, my school books to my right," but dig deeper and analyze how that quote from the poem contributes and supports the idea that you brought out in the first two sentences of your precis. You claim imagery, but where is it and why is it essential to the message?
Finally, I would advise proofreading or having a friend look over your blog prior to posting. There are just a few grammatical errors concerning commas and the like that need to be polished up.
On the whole, it is a well written and thought out piece. You are a budding young talent who I'm sure will make waves in the world of literature. Keep drinking from the jug of knowledge that is the GMSG. Happy writing!
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